Complicated...

My latest scrapping layout...




And here is the journalling. If you click on it it will enlarge so you can read it...

My beautiful Bonnie...

A few weeks ago my beautiful Bonnie had to be put down. She had lost an alarming amount of weight in under two weeks and appeared distressed and in pain. The Vet was extremely kind and offered that we could do all kinds of tests to try and determine the problem. But as I looked at my beautiful Bonnie's dear little face I couldn't stand the though of putting her through all of that just to keep her a little bit longer. So it was with a heavy heart that I asked for her to be euthanised. I stayed with her and told her how much I loved her and how she would soon be playing with Patrich and Missy. And then in a moment she was gone. Kev buried her under our grape vine and we planted my favourite rose (Angel Face) in her memory.

Bonnie was 15 years old and a much loved member of our family.

She had been with me through my first marriage. My divorce. My marriage to Kev and the birth of our boys. She was a loyal friend and a trusted confidant.


IF IT SHOULD BE

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years.
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come -- please let me go.

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me till the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve -- it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years;
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

--- Anonymous ---

The Nutella Thief...

I have recently noticed we seem to be going through more Nutella than usual. Here is a likely culprit!

I went for a shower and returned to the kitchen to discover that Harrison had pushed a dining chair into the kitchen, climbed into the pantry and retrieved the jar of Nutella for Mitchell...

Kindy

Well Thursday was the boys' (and Mummy's) big day. The first day at Kindy. We turned up with lots of other parents and children and waited for the doors to open. Harry was so excited and introduced himself to everyone there. Mitch just wanted to open his lunch box, despite the fact he had eaten one Weetbix and three slices of toast with Nutella for breakfast!

The Kindy Director met us at the door and introduced the boys and I to their SSO who will work with the two of them over the next 5 weeks. Melissa is about my age and the boys warmed to her straight away. Before I left Harry was drawing and Mitch was hammering into a pin board with Melissa.

I headed out the door and off to my Mums' group. I was SO proud of my boys that there were no tears shed... I just couldn't believe how far they have come and I spent the morning smiling.

When I returned to the Kindy the teachers were pleased to report that both boys had joined in all of the activities, had played well with the other children and had virtually ignored each other (which is apparently unusual for twins). The boys were so excited and asked to come back the next day.

It was such a sweet moment to savour. That despite all of the hurdles they have faced and all of the issues raised at the last team meeting, both boys are so sociable and confident. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment that Kev and I have done a good job preparing them for kindy/ school. While always mindful of future issues, it is lovely to take a breather and just celebrate the special little boys that Mitch & Harry have become...

Hugs,
Lisa

A big step...

Dear all,
Just received a letter last week to let us know that Mitch & Harry have been accepted into Elsie Ey Kindergarten for their pre-entry program. They will attend 2 3/4 hours once a week for 5 weeks and then start fulltime kindy which is 3 hours four days a week in the following term. I can't believe where the time has gone. It only seems a heartbeat ago that these tiny babies were struggling for survival and now they are heading out into the world. They are very excited! Mummy is a bit nervous. And Daddy is worried about Mummy.

The great thing is that they will have a support worker with them each day for pre-entry - to assist them with focussing on tasks, toiletting and generally learning the kindy routine. This was organised by the Principal prior to the team meeting last month as she felt the boys would benefit from additional support (and is at no additional cost to us).

When they start at kindy they will be evaluated to ascertain wheher they will qualify for the Possum Room - a room where they have one teacher to 8 students with special needs. Part of me wants this not to be necessary, but if this makes their lives a little easier then Kev & I are both very supportive of this option.

So think of me next Thursday when I drop the boys off for their first session. I am sure there will be tears. BUT I have a sneaking suspicion that they will be mine.

Hugs,
Lisa

Happy Birthday Mitch & Harry

Our beautiful boys turned four on August 16th.

This was the first year that they really understood what was happening and we had to do a countdown of how many sleeps there were until the big day. This year was extra special because they got to spend it with Nana & Grandpa from Queensland. They had a lovely party at Hungry Jacks and even though the weather was dreadful the boys and their little friends had a wonderful time.

Next week is their cousin Liam's birthday and they are now counting down to that party! Then the three boys will share a combined family party at Gran & Grandad's place.

Here are some photos from their big day...

Harry and his dinosaur from Nana & Grandpa


Mitch and his special construction blocks from Nana & Grandpa



The boys enjoy the icing for their birthday cupcakes


Mitch has cuddles with Grandpa


Yummy birthday cup cakes


Harry enjoyed his 5 cup cakes!


Cuddles with Nana


Thank you to everyone who wished the boys a happy birthday :-)
Hugs,
Lisa

Thank you...

Just a quick note to say thank you to everyone who has contacted us over the past week. We feel truly blessed to be surrounded by so much love.

The boys are coming up with new phrases all of the time...

Mitch's latest - "Look you guys, just stop picking on me okay"
In response to being tickled

Harry's latest - "Mummy I am a baby banana and bananas have cheeks that need to be kissed"

And my favourite expression?
"muddlepops" - muddy puddles (grin)

Hugs,
Lisa

A medical update on the boys...

Today we had a team meeting with the hospital child development unit team. Attending were the physio, OT, speech, paediatrician, kindy director and a paed reg. Each of the team members who have treated the boys over the past 12 months presented their findings on the boys and their views of ongoing needs.

Speech - both boys have severe receptive and expressive language disorders. They cover this by deflecting the conversation when they can't understand and as a consequence most people don't realise the depth of their language problem. The speech therapist also commented that they have areas of very good knowledge and understanding, but the basic building blocks of understanding and expressing themselves are disordered. She stated this will be a lifelong problem - that they will learn, but that this will take a great deal of effort on their part.

OT - she noted that both boys are extremely busy and still struggle to focus on activities. Harrison in particular is easily distracted and has difficulty working out the "voice of authority" in the room. She discussed their sensory issues and stated that they have significant sensory problems at times which typically manifest with meltdowns. She noted that their poor muscle tone means they tire very easily and that Mitchell can only cope with standing in one place for 5 or 10 minutes. Their fine motor skills are poor and they struggle with holding a pen or any activities which invole dexterous movements. She also commented that both boys have difficulty with motor planning and as a consequence tend to struggle with physical activities. She stated that this is a lifelong problem and that as they progress through school they will need a lot of support and parental involvement. On the positive side she commented on how far the boys have come with learning to sit for activities and follow instructions.

Physio - she noted that both boys have very low tone and poor core strength which means that any gross or fine motor activity takes a lot of effort. She voiced concerns that they have not significantly improved their muscle strength, gait or general movement over the past 12 months. Although she acknowledged that there has been a negative finding for Cerebral Palsy, she is of the belief that their problems are very similar to those with Ataxic CP and she feels this diagnosis may be made later. She stated that these problems are lifelong and will become more self evident as the boys grow older (in comparison to their peers).

Paed - acknowledged all of the therapists' assessments, but stated that both boys present as very bright and personable. He discussed the possibility of ADD or ADHD and stated he would not diagnose these kind of problems at this young age - and that meds to control aspects of these disorders are not particularly effective in this young age group, with the side effects generally outweighing the benefits.

Kindy - the director of the kindergarten attended and told us that she has applied for additional support hours for the boys and she is endeavouring to get them into a session with a small group where they will be with neurotypical children and have additional support. She is also seeking government approval for the boys to attend an extra term of full time kindy (4 x 1/2 day sessions/ week). Usually children receive 4 terms of full time kindy - and she hopes for 5 or even 6 terms for the boys. She was very encouraging about the supports the kiindy can offer and they have a number of children with special needs who already attend the kindy in mainstream and special groups.

The conclusion is that the boys will be referred to NOVITA which offers OT/ Physio and special groups for children with disabilities. They are hoping that NOVITA can offer the boys (and us) extra support at no extra cost. Speech therapy will be provided by DECS (Department of Education and Community Services) and we can supplement this with private therapy if required. Once the boys are accepted by NOVITA then they will be discharged from the hospital's CDU. The paediatrician will continue to coordinate their care.

Sorry to be so clinical, but this is the best way for me to explain it. At the moment Kev and I feel totally overwhelmed. Its not that we have been told anything we didn't know, it's just to have it all spelled out in detail is confronting. We are so grateful for the care and concern the staff have shown our boys (and us). So now we just have to pick ourselves up and move forward. On a lighter not I came home and both boys insisted I join them in Harry's bed for a "triple cuddle" - kind of puts it all in perspective :-)

Lisa

Just for a laugh...

Love this clip which I found on YouTube.
For all the scrappers out there this one is for you :-)

Being a Mum...

It is now two years since my own dear Mum died. I miss her every day. Harry in particular talks about his Gran and he often asks to see photos of her. I don't think he completely understands at this stage, but he tells people he loves his Gran and she is in the sky and in our hearts. Mum often talked about her fear that the boys wouldn't remember her, but in my own way I am trying to create a memory for them of their Gran.

Thinking about my Mum got me thinking about my own experiences of being a Mum. And I realised that my mothering style is a reflection of everything that my Mum taught me. Sometimes I catch myself saying something and I have to smile, because I remember Mum saying the same things to me as a small child. Mum has been the single biggest influence in my life and I only hope that I can give my children the kind of childhood she gave me.

Family is so important to me. That is why I feel so blessed to have a close relationship with my family. I may not see everyone as often as I like or I may not keep in contact as often as I should, but they are often in my thoughts. I look at my beautiful boys learning about the world and sharing special times with their cousins and I am truly happy. These precious times my Mum would loved to have shared. And while there is sadness that she can't be here with us in a physical sense, I know that the life she helped create for me will continue to influence myself, Mitch & Harry and future generations.

Being a Mother is the most important thing in the world to me. And I thanks my beautiful Mum for showing me the way.

With much love,
Lisa