Monday, April 2, 2007

Why do I feel so blue...

Some weeks just seem so much harder than others. I feel miserable today and since Kev is working late and the boys are engrossed in Bob the Builder I have come to my blog to have a self-pitying whinge.

I suppose the main problem is that the boys and I appear to have a nasty virus and as the day has progressed I feel like I am walking through wet cement. I ache all over and have a headache - and I am sure the boys feel the same. We all want to have a "pity party" at the moment...

I think that things have also been stirred up because I have been creating some long overdue videos of last year. Every time I see a photo or some footage of my Mum I struck by how bloody unfair this all is... that she should be here spending time with her three grandsons and planning her next big holiday. I miss her more and more each day. Each get together seems to have a gaping hole where Mum should be...and every time the boys do something new I just want to be able to pick up the phone and call her...

And I suppose I also feel tired - infact I know I do. So tired from struggling to maintain some normalcy in our home - so that the boys don't have to cope with a down in the dumps mummy. And tired from the usual running of the house things that seems to become more overwhelming by the minute...

My dear hubby Kev has asked me to try and slow down - but I seem unable to do this. Its like I have some deadline to meet - that no-one knows about except me. So he comes home and I am exhausted and cranky...

Well I suppose I better go and check on my cherubs - they need some extra mummy-care AND they don't care that I am tired, they just want cuddles...

Tomorrow can only get better...
Hugs,
Lisa

2 comments:

Jodi said...

BIG BIG BIG HUGS. I so know how you feel. Sick, tired and down. But I can't imagine going through things without your mum - I am sorry Lisa.... I often wonder how much heartache some people have to bear!

It really sounds like you need some you time. Do you get quality YOU time??????

What worries me is that you sound so much like me. I mean that if you feel half the way I do (but I suspect it is double the way I do), then I think you need to stop, pause and reflect. I can give the advice but not follow it!

I am always cranky with Mick when I get home and I haven't been home all day looking after Tom! I find that if I have a somewhat good day I am nicer at the end of the day. But these are few and far between.

Okay, now I am rambling..... I just want to day PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOU! And I am here... anytime (just like you are always there for me).

Hope this has made sense and not made you any more down!!!!!

HUGE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jODI and tOM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa - Mum to Mitch & Harry said...

Thank you so much Jodi. I keep telling you that you should move to my side of Australia. Endless cups of coffee at Gloria Jeans sounds good therapy to me.

Hugs,
Lisa