Monday, May 28, 2007
Yes! It is the photo from my previous blog entry. I must admit it is one of my favourite photos and I have made sure both boys have a copy in their own albums. My labour of love at the moment is creating albums for Mitch & Harry. They obviously share a lot of the same photos, but they are different. I made the mistake of getting carried away and getting all of Harry's photos up to date and then realised (belatedly) that of course I would have to repeat the entire process again for Mitchell. Kev did suggest I could just write in Mitch's album "see Harry's album", but I don't think that would go down too well in the years to come. I hope that when the boys are older they will be able to look at their albums and get a true sense of their childhoods and the special people that helped shaped their lives.
Friday, May 18, 2007
But other times they are so kind and loving to each other...
To give you an example I will tell you the story attached to the photo (above). Mitch still has some difficulties negotiating steep inclines and tends to avoid them. Anyway one day when we were in Canberra we went to a market. They had been so good sitting in their pram while Mummy & Auntie Jenn wandered about looking at craft and yummy food. By the time they got outside they really wanted to stretch their legs and so they were let out of their pram harnesses and took off to explore the world. Jenn's little girl Mikaylah was there too, but she was happy to play close-by. Anyway, Harry took off up a ramp next to where we were sitting - and Mitchell tried but fell over. He then called out to Harry - in words that I think only the two of them understood and Harry turned around, walked back down the ramp and held out his hand to Mitch. Then the two of them walked up and down the ramp hand in hand. Such a moment of utter sweetness...
Mitch & Harry I hope that you are always there for each other and that the obvious love you have never fades. When ever you need someone to help you through life you will have each other. Hold onto that, cherish it and never let it go.
with all my love,
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
He also mentioned that extremely premature babies often have learning problems - which aren't always based on intelligence, but on the way the child learns. So we need to be mindful of working with the boys' kindy and school teachers to find the optimal method of learning for both boys. From my very rudimentary understanding of learning this can also be the case for many full term children, but it is interesting. Recent research has indicated that the premature baby's brain is anatomically different to the brain of the fullterm baby and this may help explain the learning difficulties and developmental issues faced by many premature babies.
What does this mean for Mitch & Harry? Life for them goes on as usual - they are happy, sociable little boys, which will hopefully stand them in good stead for the future. We are extremely blessed that despite their awful start to life they are walking, talking and developing. It is certainly not the case for all premature babies born so early. Now we have a plan for some additional therapy to assist them and us in optimising their development. While we are mindful that there may be further hurdles in the future, we are trying to focus on enjoying the boys' childhood while preparing them to be happy, sociable individuals. And they certainly are social butterflies as evidenced by this afternoon in the hospital playground - both boys walked around the play equipment holding hands with a new little friend they met and talking with other children.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
My Dad and I have recently been discussing this very subject - why people feel the need to offer platitudes rather than just listen. I suppose it partly comes from an inherent human need to comfort others. It may also be that rather than truly listening to what a person has to say we anticipate what we imagine they might like to hear.
I'll give you and example -
Recently we scattered my beautiful Mum's ashes at the seaside. I was obviously upset and many people came up afterwards to speak to me.
Some told me my Mum was in a "better place" -
Better than being surrounded by family and friends who adored her?
Some told me at least Mum wasn't suffering any more -
I wondered would Mum have chosen suffering over death
- chosen to stay a little longer to see her baby grandson Liam?
And some told me that Mum was "ready to go"
But I wasn't ready for her to go and I am sure my Dad and my brother
weren't ready for her to go either.
Don't get me wrong each of these statements was said with love and concern - and yet they provided little or no comfort to me...
One special friend who I have known since childhood said something to me that touched me so deeply and made me realise she understood my pain. What did she say? What wise words did she impart?
She said "I am so sorry".
Four simple words that reached out to me and gave me comfort.
I suppose there is a lesson for all of us -
Most of us just want to be heard
We don't need solutions or answers
We just want someone to reach out and show that they care...
Thank you to all of my friends and family who show me how much they care about me.
Each hug or kiss helps provide me with the strength to face another day.
In return I hope I can really listen to what you are saying
- to stop, take a breath and listen to the true meanings of your words
With much love and gratitude,
Monday, May 7, 2007
But what helped me more than anything was the outpouring of support we received from friends, family and strangers. I was humbled to receive a message from an inspiring woman Glenda Watson Hyatt - please take the time to look at her blog Do it myself and I am sure that you will be inspired too. I also received a lovely message of support from Shelly. Two ladies I had never met - but who reached out to me with such kindness.
Now that the dust has settled (so to speak) Kev & I are just taking each day as it comes. We are waiting to see the specialist and paediatrician and are hoping that we can some answers to our questions. For now we are focussing on taking care of the boys and each other.
Today I watched Mitchell determinedly sort through blocks and Harrison steadfastly working on his puzzles and I was amazed at how far they have come in the past few months. They are happy little boys and they love life. Despite this bump in the road we are blessed to be taking this journey with them...
Friday, May 4, 2007
I am just so scared for their future...
Wednesday, May 2, 2007