Thursday, December 13, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Monday, August 6, 2007
It is now less than 2 weeks until the boys' birthday - hard to believe they will be three years old. We are hoping that they will be medically cleared so their party can go ahead. But regardless we are sure they will have an absolute ball...
Hoping everyone is coping with the cold and wet...
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Hoping that these things don't spread by the internet (grin)
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Monday, July 2, 2007
Mitch & Harry love their Nana & Grandpa in Queensland so much! Each day is punctuated with discussions about them - and Harry often asks to go in the car to see Nana and Grandpa. I often wondered how well the boys would remember their grandparents - especially because we only get to see them once a year. BUT the boys obviously remember their recent holiday to Queensland and when they watch the TV and see the beach they tell me "Nana & Grandpa at beach".
And then there is Grandad. He visits every week and the boys love listening to him read their favourite stories. Grandad rides bikes and so when I mention visiting Grandad both boys start talking about bikes. Grandad has a great cubby house and swing set at his house - much more exciting than at home.
Aren't my boys so lucky to have loving grandparents who factor so strongly in their lives...
Hoping that you have someone who makes you feel safe, secure and loved,
Thursday, June 21, 2007
It has been ages since I last updated my blog - a fact that my dear friend Kate reminded me of today. I met Kate when I was working in ED in a place far, far away! There was something about Kate that I liked immediately - although she later confessed she was a little bit stunned to meet me. You see readers, I haven't always been the well balanced individual you see before you (grin). In those dark, distant days I was a Registered Nurse who took life a bit too seriously...
Then with the birth of my dear boys I had an epiphany (great word isn't it!) and came to realise that life is far too short too spend it worrying about everyone and everything. That the most important thing in my life was to love my family and friends and leave the rest to the cosmos. Now this works well in theory, but now and then I still need a reality check. Sometimes I still get caught up in trying to do too much to the detriment of my dear boys. I mean the housework never ends does it? So why obsess about it when I have two little boys asking to do "puzzles Mummy". Anyway today I was doing my usual afternoon clean up and both boys grabbed me by the hand and asked to do the "Wiggles puzzle" - so off the three of us went into the lounge room and for the next hour we did puzzles, cuddled and played. Maybe I need more of those kind of moments, when I stop worrying about the chores and just enjoy being a Mummy...
Harry in particular has been quite clingy over the past week as I had a weekend away last weekend. A whole weekend of scrapping and adult conversation. It was utter bliss. I sat with my friends Freya and Mandy and we ate chocolate, scrapped and generally caught up on each other's lives. We stayed at the Old Mill in Hahndorf in a self-contained cabin. It was lovely - but SO cold. Each morning the grass was frozen and so were the cars. But we rugged up and kept scrapping. The best bit was arriving home and having two little boys and one big boy waiting with open arms...
My last bit of news is that a photo posted on the boys' website has been used by the Boston Medical Center NICU in their latest brochure. A few months ago I was contacted by email to ask for permission to use the image and I agreed. As I looked at the image of my hand holding a tiny foot I realised just how far we have come...
Sending lots of love to all our family and friends,
Friday, June 8, 2007
Thursday, June 7, 2007
I'll give you an example -
this morning after his bath Harry refused to wear his red jumper no matter how many times I told his it was the same colour as Murray and insisted on wearing his Bob the Builder Jacket...
Then Mitch became upset when I took his socks of because he wanted to wear them in the bath!
Where have those compliant little boys gone? They are long gone and in their place are two very different, but somehow very similar boys who have opinions and aren't afraid to voice them (hmmm.... who do they sound like?). I have said since the moment the boys came home that I have loved each phase of their development , but this new phase is so exciting. Both boys want to communicate so much - and although sometimes I don't understand every word, I still see their brains developing as they learn more about the world.
Another issue I have been pondering - since a recent post on Austprem - is how to deal with prejudice or misunderstanding from others when it comes to my boys. You see everyone that knows my boys and their story are full of praise for how far they have come and what happy little guys they are despite such a rocky start to life. BUT I already have had comments from other people regarding their small size and appearance - most of these comments are kind, but some are downright offensive. So as a Mum how do I deal with this problem? And how do I prepare the boys for questions which might arise later on in life?
All things to ponder as we enter the Queen's Birthday Long Weekend, which is not on her birthday, but is a lovely excuse for a long weekend.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Yes! It is the photo from my previous blog entry. I must admit it is one of my favourite photos and I have made sure both boys have a copy in their own albums. My labour of love at the moment is creating albums for Mitch & Harry. They obviously share a lot of the same photos, but they are different. I made the mistake of getting carried away and getting all of Harry's photos up to date and then realised (belatedly) that of course I would have to repeat the entire process again for Mitchell. Kev did suggest I could just write in Mitch's album "see Harry's album", but I don't think that would go down too well in the years to come. I hope that when the boys are older they will be able to look at their albums and get a true sense of their childhoods and the special people that helped shaped their lives.
Friday, May 18, 2007
But other times they are so kind and loving to each other...
To give you an example I will tell you the story attached to the photo (above). Mitch still has some difficulties negotiating steep inclines and tends to avoid them. Anyway one day when we were in Canberra we went to a market. They had been so good sitting in their pram while Mummy & Auntie Jenn wandered about looking at craft and yummy food. By the time they got outside they really wanted to stretch their legs and so they were let out of their pram harnesses and took off to explore the world. Jenn's little girl Mikaylah was there too, but she was happy to play close-by. Anyway, Harry took off up a ramp next to where we were sitting - and Mitchell tried but fell over. He then called out to Harry - in words that I think only the two of them understood and Harry turned around, walked back down the ramp and held out his hand to Mitch. Then the two of them walked up and down the ramp hand in hand. Such a moment of utter sweetness...
Mitch & Harry I hope that you are always there for each other and that the obvious love you have never fades. When ever you need someone to help you through life you will have each other. Hold onto that, cherish it and never let it go.
with all my love,
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
He also mentioned that extremely premature babies often have learning problems - which aren't always based on intelligence, but on the way the child learns. So we need to be mindful of working with the boys' kindy and school teachers to find the optimal method of learning for both boys. From my very rudimentary understanding of learning this can also be the case for many full term children, but it is interesting. Recent research has indicated that the premature baby's brain is anatomically different to the brain of the fullterm baby and this may help explain the learning difficulties and developmental issues faced by many premature babies.
What does this mean for Mitch & Harry? Life for them goes on as usual - they are happy, sociable little boys, which will hopefully stand them in good stead for the future. We are extremely blessed that despite their awful start to life they are walking, talking and developing. It is certainly not the case for all premature babies born so early. Now we have a plan for some additional therapy to assist them and us in optimising their development. While we are mindful that there may be further hurdles in the future, we are trying to focus on enjoying the boys' childhood while preparing them to be happy, sociable individuals. And they certainly are social butterflies as evidenced by this afternoon in the hospital playground - both boys walked around the play equipment holding hands with a new little friend they met and talking with other children.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
My Dad and I have recently been discussing this very subject - why people feel the need to offer platitudes rather than just listen. I suppose it partly comes from an inherent human need to comfort others. It may also be that rather than truly listening to what a person has to say we anticipate what we imagine they might like to hear.
I'll give you and example -
Recently we scattered my beautiful Mum's ashes at the seaside. I was obviously upset and many people came up afterwards to speak to me.
Some told me my Mum was in a "better place" -
Better than being surrounded by family and friends who adored her?
Some told me at least Mum wasn't suffering any more -
I wondered would Mum have chosen suffering over death
- chosen to stay a little longer to see her baby grandson Liam?
And some told me that Mum was "ready to go"
But I wasn't ready for her to go and I am sure my Dad and my brother
weren't ready for her to go either.
Don't get me wrong each of these statements was said with love and concern - and yet they provided little or no comfort to me...
One special friend who I have known since childhood said something to me that touched me so deeply and made me realise she understood my pain. What did she say? What wise words did she impart?
She said "I am so sorry".
Four simple words that reached out to me and gave me comfort.
I suppose there is a lesson for all of us -
Most of us just want to be heard
We don't need solutions or answers
We just want someone to reach out and show that they care...
Thank you to all of my friends and family who show me how much they care about me.
Each hug or kiss helps provide me with the strength to face another day.
In return I hope I can really listen to what you are saying
- to stop, take a breath and listen to the true meanings of your words
With much love and gratitude,
Monday, May 7, 2007
But what helped me more than anything was the outpouring of support we received from friends, family and strangers. I was humbled to receive a message from an inspiring woman Glenda Watson Hyatt - please take the time to look at her blog Do it myself and I am sure that you will be inspired too. I also received a lovely message of support from Shelly. Two ladies I had never met - but who reached out to me with such kindness.
Now that the dust has settled (so to speak) Kev & I are just taking each day as it comes. We are waiting to see the specialist and paediatrician and are hoping that we can some answers to our questions. For now we are focussing on taking care of the boys and each other.
Today I watched Mitchell determinedly sort through blocks and Harrison steadfastly working on his puzzles and I was amazed at how far they have come in the past few months. They are happy little boys and they love life. Despite this bump in the road we are blessed to be taking this journey with them...
Friday, May 4, 2007
I am just so scared for their future...
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
The boys have just discovered the delights of beanies, rubber boots and thick jackets. They look so snuggly all bundled up to keep warm. The only downside is that with all this rain they can't get outside to play very often. So we have compromised and are making regular trips to the indoor play-gyms for them to stretch their legs and run about. Each time I spend time watching Mitch & Harry play I am amazed by how far they have come in such a short amount of time. Those tiny little, frail babies are now robust, energetic little boys who love climbing, jumping and running.
Just happy thoughts for a lovely, rainy day...
Friday, April 27, 2007
Doesn't everything just seem clean and new after rain. Don't the plants seem ready to grow and bloom. And don't rainy days seem the best days to read a book or snuggle up to a loved one and watch an old movie.
Just like with the seasons, life seems to go through times of profound change. At times life seems so hard and every activity a burden. And then all of a sudden you find yourself looking forward to things and planning ahead. Our lives are such a precious gift - and yet sometimes we are so overwhelmed we can't see the beauty surrounding us. So on this rainy day I am choosing to take some time to celebrate the good things in my life...
I have a wonderful husband...
I have two beautiful, loving little boys...
I have a terrific extended family - we might not always get on, but we are always there for each other...
I have good friends...
I am safe and the ones I love are safe - no wars, famine or persecution...
And I am free to be who I choose to be...
Kinda makes you grateful to be alive doesn't it?
Monday, April 23, 2007
Terrible Palsy. I noticed a call to action. On May1st bloggers are being invited to post a message regarding disability and the discrimination that the disabled face. Since we entered the world of prematurity almost three years ago my family and I have come in contact with many children who have lasting impacts of their prematurity - including Cerebral Palsy, Sight Impairment, Intellectual Disabilities, Hearing Impairments and Autism. On May 1st I will be posting a message of support for our friends and a plea for understanding...
I ask you to join me in voicing the injustices that face those with a disability...
for more information please visit Diary of a Goldfish
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Hope everyone has a blessed week,
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
The past couple of months I have really been struggling with what I term 'depression and anxiety' - it cycles between the two. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed I am trapped in doing nothing and moving nowhere and other times I seem to need to do everything all at once. This (as I am sure you can appreciate) is very exhausting for my loved ones and for me too. I have cried with frustration at not achieving all I want to and then have cried from exhaustion when I finish what I want to achieve. This state of highly labile emotions is draining. And I worry about its long term effects on my boys...
But then there are the sweetest moments when they look at me and smile or rush to give me a kiss and I realise I can't be such a crappy mother after all. Mitch in particular loves the "cuddy" on the run - he rushed over, flings himself at me and then just as quickly resumes his game. Harry warms up slowly to strangers, but is so loving to his Daddy and I. And now we are watching their loving attitude to each other develop. Sure - Mitch still gets cross and hits Harry. And Harry cries. But now and then they reach over and kiss or hug each other without prompting. Or they share their yoghurt. And its at these moments that I realise that's what's important in life - being kind to each other...
So I resolve to be kinder to those I love...
And to try and not let life drag me down...
After all, if Mitch and Harry love me - then life is good...
Hope each and everyone of you feel loved too,
Monday, April 9, 2007
And then on Easter Sunday morning we were lucky enough that the four boys didn't realise what was supposed to happen - so we had breakfast before the Easter Bunny visited. Harry enjoyed his chocolate - but Mitchell isn't much of a chocolate fan and he preferred his Bob the Builder cup, bowl & spoon set. And their cousin Jay tucked into his chocolate treats too. Cousin Liam is a little bit too young for chocolate so he ate his farex and watched all the proceedings with great interest. And then all too soon it was time to head home...
Hope everyone had a great Easter,
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
We are supposed to be heading away with family to the beach for Easter, but if I don't feel better we may not go as I don't want to inflict my "little ray of sunshine" personality on everyone! I think secretly Kev would be quite happy if we stayed home - holidays just aren't his thing. He found 11 days in Queensland difficult. He is a homebody and so am I - except now and then it is nice to get away from endless piles of washing and never-ending cleaning.
Anyway, must pick up some more Easter eggs for the weekend...
Hoping that everyone's Easter is a blessed time for them and their families,
Monday, April 2, 2007
I suppose the main problem is that the boys and I appear to have a nasty virus and as the day has progressed I feel like I am walking through wet cement. I ache all over and have a headache - and I am sure the boys feel the same. We all want to have a "pity party" at the moment...
I think that things have also been stirred up because I have been creating some long overdue videos of last year. Every time I see a photo or some footage of my Mum I struck by how bloody unfair this all is... that she should be here spending time with her three grandsons and planning her next big holiday. I miss her more and more each day. Each get together seems to have a gaping hole where Mum should be...and every time the boys do something new I just want to be able to pick up the phone and call her...
And I suppose I also feel tired - infact I know I do. So tired from struggling to maintain some normalcy in our home - so that the boys don't have to cope with a down in the dumps mummy. And tired from the usual running of the house things that seems to become more overwhelming by the minute...
My dear hubby Kev has asked me to try and slow down - but I seem unable to do this. Its like I have some deadline to meet - that no-one knows about except me. So he comes home and I am exhausted and cranky...
Well I suppose I better go and check on my cherubs - they need some extra mummy-care AND they don't care that I am tired, they just want cuddles...
Tomorrow can only get better...
Friday, March 30, 2007
As I may have mentioned in the past, both of the boys have a wide legged gait and tend to stagger when they are tired. The physio noticed that their walking has improved and has suggested some exercises to help with their coordination problems.
Lack of coordination can be causes by prematurity but at the same time I am completely uncoordinated...SO the boys really can't win.
The physio also showed the boys how to kick a ball - something I haven't been able to get them to do. And they both took to it like pros - although Mitch needs a had to hold whilst he is doing it.
Apart from that she commented on their low tone particularly in the legs and hips - which also helps explain their funny walk. I once mentioned that they look a bit like Thunderbirds and there was a deafening silence - until someone asked what "Thunderbirds" were. Made me feel really ancient that my references to old TV programs were not known (grin).
So all in all it was a useful assessment - we have lots to work on and an idea of where we will go in the future...
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Friday, February 2, 2007
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Monday, January 8, 2007
Saturday, January 6, 2007